CDC Recommends Carrying Woody Allen's Memoir to Facilitate Social Distancing
The CDC is recommending that all Americans purchase a copy of Woody Allen's new memoir and carry it around with them to ensure people stay the recommended six feet apart from one another.
"When you see someone holding a copy of the book, your immediate reaction is horror and disgust and you instinctively move away," said Hal Hokum of the CDC. "It's perfect for fighting the Corona virus."
Hokum is spearheading the new "Don't Stand So Close to Yi" campaign, which aims to put a copy of the memoir in every American's hand. "We believe the book will help Americans pull a reverse Woody: move aggressively away from potential victims of your disease."
The early results of "Don't Stand So Close to Yi" are promising:
Jen Finnigan was leaving her apartment when she spotted a nice neighbor with whom she often exchanged greetings. She was about to say hi, when she spotted the book in his hand. "Aww, no way, gross!" she screamed and veered sharply out of the neighbor's path.
"Some people might find it a difficult adjustment,"said Hokum. "Wearing a mask is one thing, but holding the repugnant recollections of a lecherous old creep is another. But it's what we have to do."
"When you see someone holding a copy of the book, your immediate reaction is horror and disgust and you instinctively move away," said Hal Hokum of the CDC. "It's perfect for fighting the Corona virus."
Hokum is spearheading the new "Don't Stand So Close to Yi" campaign, which aims to put a copy of the memoir in every American's hand. "We believe the book will help Americans pull a reverse Woody: move aggressively away from potential victims of your disease."
The early results of "Don't Stand So Close to Yi" are promising:
Jen Finnigan was leaving her apartment when she spotted a nice neighbor with whom she often exchanged greetings. She was about to say hi, when she spotted the book in his hand. "Aww, no way, gross!" she screamed and veered sharply out of the neighbor's path.
"Some people might find it a difficult adjustment,"said Hokum. "Wearing a mask is one thing, but holding the repugnant recollections of a lecherous old creep is another. But it's what we have to do."